I wish so much that life had allowed us greater access to each other… both in our growing up days and in the present. But I will take what we are currently given - access through technology- as at least better than nothing at all.
There was a time when I, too, found myself upon this precipice which you so poignantly describe. Perhaps this is what informs my heart’s desire to respond to what you have written.
I agree with you, that the appropriate outcry to anyone who would demean another soul’s worthiness **for any reason** is the final response of the townspeople in the stunning story you related from The 23rd Psalm: A Holocaust Memoir.
While I don’t feel the same need to speak out, it doesn’t mean that I’m not watching in horror as evil creeps into seemingly every crevice of our world.
However, I feel compelled to respond to this question which you so honestly put forth…
(please forgive my condensation of your quotes for the sake of brevity).
“what story do you tell when the forces of evil rise and threaten those flickering manifestations of your vision of a better future… wondering if there is anything left to believe? to live for, or strive towards?”
“most of us who live life with eyes wide open gave up long ago on a god-who-interferes, a god-who-rescues.
what about a god-who-gives-purpose? a compass-god? a greater-story-god? do we give up on that too? if i’m honest, if i have any integrity, i’ll admit i can’t hold onto that god.”
This is the story I have to constantly tell myself (and I need others to remind me of) during these trying days…
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or peril or sword? …but in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor “devils”, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8)
And from Betsy Ten Boom (deprived of every human right and dignity, on her death “bed”)…as related by Corrie Ten Boom who survived the Holocaust and wrote, “The Hiding Place”…
“You have to tell them, Corrie, …there is no pit so deep that God is not in it”.
My hope and prayer is that you won’t give up on your faith, Carissa. Though hard-won, it truly is the most precious thing we have.
Hi Anna! Good to hear from you. I always appreciate comments on my posts; they help me see what I am communicating, and they help me stay in tune with who it is I'm writing to. Each of us who are people of faith are on our own journey, and I can respect and appreciate where you are at; I resonate with many of the things you have said, in fact.
I love the quote you gave from Betsy, "...there is no pit so deep that God is not in it." I studied the Holocaust last year, and felt on a visceral level how hard it would be to contend with who God is in the face of an evil that is swallowing humans whole, especially in the name of God (which as you know, the Nazi's did). I felt privileged to listen to both those who held onto God or let go of God as they suffered— both responses felt honest, and there was truth and beauty in it all. If God is indeed Love, then love is big enough to hold all the responses.
For me, right now, there are some ideas I used to grip about God that just don't hold up to experience (which is part and parcel of my theology). These ideas include the idea that God going to swoop in and rescue certain people, or the idea that God is working out a greater story and all we have to do is trust God is working it out and then everything will be okay. This does not bear out experientially, though some people certainly experience God-with-them in inexplicable ways, and many folks find purpose in "following God."
However, what following God/walking according to God's purpose/fulfilling God's plan looks like depends on the person you are talking to. Many people with vastly different ideas of "God's plan" are claiming they are walking in the way of God right now, and that God is on their side. Many people with vastly different versions of "the greater story" are claiming rigt now that God is fulfilling that greater story— who is right?
The truth is, many of the folks who claim a greater-story-God are people with privilege, people who see God as always working things out for their good. These people then like to tell everyone that their interpretation of this "greater story of God," which uses scripture to back it up, is the right one. But what they don't see is there are many folks who never experience anything like "God working out a greater story." These are often people who are marginalized, and many times they are being exploited by the very systems that are benefitting the people who are claiming "God works everything out for good." Does this mean God is not with these folks, that they just aren't a part of "God's-greater-story"?
In the end, I believe we each of us decide what we will say is true of God for us. Many people use scripture. They also use experience, testing out what is true-to-life. Like using the Ten Boom's story. There were likewise many people who lost their faith or lost their version of God as they endured the Holocaust, and someone with a different view of God may use their stories to guide their faith (or lack of it).
Our views of God seem to be often refined, transformed, and changed by suffering, which is what I'm grappling with in this post.
With all of the notions about God I cannot hold with honesty and integrity, there is the tiny miracle involved in witnesses to what really happened and testifiers to evil, and how these endure. This to me points to a version of God I can hold onto, a God who is with us, a God of truth, a God who works with anything that opposes evil, a God who endures, a God of mystery, a God incapable of being manipulated by systems that hurt, exploit, and marginalize, a God who invites us into the process of making something come true that looks more like life than death for the least of these.
I think you've given me a direction for my next blog post...
I do hope that what I have written gives you freedom to explore who God is for you, and what definition of God you can hold onto from the lens of your own values. I know you to be a complex and brilliant thinker.
Dear Carissa,
I wish so much that life had allowed us greater access to each other… both in our growing up days and in the present. But I will take what we are currently given - access through technology- as at least better than nothing at all.
There was a time when I, too, found myself upon this precipice which you so poignantly describe. Perhaps this is what informs my heart’s desire to respond to what you have written.
I agree with you, that the appropriate outcry to anyone who would demean another soul’s worthiness **for any reason** is the final response of the townspeople in the stunning story you related from The 23rd Psalm: A Holocaust Memoir.
While I don’t feel the same need to speak out, it doesn’t mean that I’m not watching in horror as evil creeps into seemingly every crevice of our world.
However, I feel compelled to respond to this question which you so honestly put forth…
(please forgive my condensation of your quotes for the sake of brevity).
“what story do you tell when the forces of evil rise and threaten those flickering manifestations of your vision of a better future… wondering if there is anything left to believe? to live for, or strive towards?”
“most of us who live life with eyes wide open gave up long ago on a god-who-interferes, a god-who-rescues.
what about a god-who-gives-purpose? a compass-god? a greater-story-god? do we give up on that too? if i’m honest, if i have any integrity, i’ll admit i can’t hold onto that god.”
This is the story I have to constantly tell myself (and I need others to remind me of) during these trying days…
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or peril or sword? …but in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor “devils”, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8)
And from Betsy Ten Boom (deprived of every human right and dignity, on her death “bed”)…as related by Corrie Ten Boom who survived the Holocaust and wrote, “The Hiding Place”…
“You have to tell them, Corrie, …there is no pit so deep that God is not in it”.
My hope and prayer is that you won’t give up on your faith, Carissa. Though hard-won, it truly is the most precious thing we have.
Sincerely, your long-overdue friend,
Anna
Hi Anna! Good to hear from you. I always appreciate comments on my posts; they help me see what I am communicating, and they help me stay in tune with who it is I'm writing to. Each of us who are people of faith are on our own journey, and I can respect and appreciate where you are at; I resonate with many of the things you have said, in fact.
I love the quote you gave from Betsy, "...there is no pit so deep that God is not in it." I studied the Holocaust last year, and felt on a visceral level how hard it would be to contend with who God is in the face of an evil that is swallowing humans whole, especially in the name of God (which as you know, the Nazi's did). I felt privileged to listen to both those who held onto God or let go of God as they suffered— both responses felt honest, and there was truth and beauty in it all. If God is indeed Love, then love is big enough to hold all the responses.
For me, right now, there are some ideas I used to grip about God that just don't hold up to experience (which is part and parcel of my theology). These ideas include the idea that God going to swoop in and rescue certain people, or the idea that God is working out a greater story and all we have to do is trust God is working it out and then everything will be okay. This does not bear out experientially, though some people certainly experience God-with-them in inexplicable ways, and many folks find purpose in "following God."
However, what following God/walking according to God's purpose/fulfilling God's plan looks like depends on the person you are talking to. Many people with vastly different ideas of "God's plan" are claiming they are walking in the way of God right now, and that God is on their side. Many people with vastly different versions of "the greater story" are claiming rigt now that God is fulfilling that greater story— who is right?
The truth is, many of the folks who claim a greater-story-God are people with privilege, people who see God as always working things out for their good. These people then like to tell everyone that their interpretation of this "greater story of God," which uses scripture to back it up, is the right one. But what they don't see is there are many folks who never experience anything like "God working out a greater story." These are often people who are marginalized, and many times they are being exploited by the very systems that are benefitting the people who are claiming "God works everything out for good." Does this mean God is not with these folks, that they just aren't a part of "God's-greater-story"?
In the end, I believe we each of us decide what we will say is true of God for us. Many people use scripture. They also use experience, testing out what is true-to-life. Like using the Ten Boom's story. There were likewise many people who lost their faith or lost their version of God as they endured the Holocaust, and someone with a different view of God may use their stories to guide their faith (or lack of it).
Our views of God seem to be often refined, transformed, and changed by suffering, which is what I'm grappling with in this post.
With all of the notions about God I cannot hold with honesty and integrity, there is the tiny miracle involved in witnesses to what really happened and testifiers to evil, and how these endure. This to me points to a version of God I can hold onto, a God who is with us, a God of truth, a God who works with anything that opposes evil, a God who endures, a God of mystery, a God incapable of being manipulated by systems that hurt, exploit, and marginalize, a God who invites us into the process of making something come true that looks more like life than death for the least of these.
I think you've given me a direction for my next blog post...
I do hope that what I have written gives you freedom to explore who God is for you, and what definition of God you can hold onto from the lens of your own values. I know you to be a complex and brilliant thinker.
Peace,
Carissa