On Why We Shouldn't Fear Learning Something that Could Demolish Our Reality
Along with a case study from the Immigration and White Supremacy class I am taking...
One of the highlights of my summer was traveling to visit a brother of mine and his fiance. In the evening we laid on the couch talking, and at one point one of us brought up how scary it would be to find out we were actually living in a Matrix.
Like, what if we’re dreaming right now, and later we’ll wake up to find this conversation never even happened, we speculated, shivering.
We followed that thread for a while, and then began to realize that the fear of the unknown was actually much scarier than the unkown itself.
After all, I think it’s far more terrifying to wonder if you’re in a Matrix than to find out you actually are. Would you agree? I mean, if you were really in the Matrix, it would be pretty fun to learn to manipulate matter, wouldn’t it?
But I digress. What I’m trying to say is, it’s okay to learn something that breaks your reality open. And when you learn this something, and it feels like everything around you is falling apart, you will make it through. How can I say this? Because I am on a path that has taken (and will take) me through this process many times, and I like the person I’m becomming.
As an aside, as you navigate the dumping out and rumpling of all your tidy ideas, if you stay open, chances are high you will discover you are not alone; when you do, reach out and clasp hands with the people around you. They will help you know that you’re gonna make it through.
Let me rock your world just a little bit and say that when it comes to theology, things are no different: it’s okay for your ideas about the Divine and people and the world and the relationships atwixt them all to change.
You do not have to be God’s gatekeeper and you don’t have to gatekeep to protect yourself.
(Unless, of course, you have created your own version of God. That is something that you might have to let go of… But again, I digress.)
What I’d like to do over the course of the next few weeks is bring thoughts and ideas your way that might (or then again, might not) rock your world as they have mine.
Why?
Because our world right now, with so many of us at odds with each other, especially when it comes to politics and theology, needs a bit more love and understanding. And I think getting outside of ourselves and our construction of reality is an important step to take in figuring out how we can fix things.
So without further ado, I am pasting an assignment I wrote this week for my Special Topics in Religion and Culture: Immigration and White Supremacy class.
For it, I was supposed to write a creative response to readings I had done in two books, The History of White People by Nell Irvin Painter and Stamped from the Beginning by Ibram X. Kendi; I chose to pen a letter to my children to help us navigate the complex topic of racism as a family of white people.
Perhaps you aren’t sure what you think of racism as a concept. Maybe you wonder what these ideas have to do with theology. Could be, this whole letter is stirring up complex feelings in you, or even causing your blood to boil.
I would ask that before you respond, though, you take the time to listen and think and ask yourself questions. It might be a good idea to do a little research if you’re experiencing strong resistence, or even to buy these books and read them for yourself.
Then, whether or not you find their premises compelling, why not search your heart and ask, “What does this have to do with theology?” You might be surprised at the answers that come up.
The Assignment
To my children:
A few weeks ago, one of you told me, “Mom, I hate being white; I wish my skin was a different color.” When I asked you why, you said, “Well, white people have done so much harm. They’ve enslaved people and kicked others off their land, and white people are racist.” And I easily empathized with you.
I struggled with how else to respond, and shared your sentiment with a friend of mine. She responded by sending me this Instagram video where a renowned black author and humanities professor named Ibram X. Kendi answers the query, “Won’t you make white kids ashamed of their skin color if you teach them all the things their ancestors did?” by reminding white people that throughout American history there have been white and black people (called abolitionists) who pushed back against the prevailing beliefs of their times and fought for equal rights for all.
He concludes the video by saying I ought to be reminding you that those white people are your heroes, the ones you can emulate and be proud of. If you want, you can watch his response here:
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Imagine my surprise when one of the books our professor chose for our Immigration and White Supremacy class this semester was one of Kendi’s works, Stamped from the Beginning. To use one of my cheesy lines, I thought to myself, “Sweet serendipity!” In the prologue to his book, Kendi makes an interesting point— that racism isn’t something which hatches out of a demented mind, but rather something which emerges when people (usually white) worry there is not enough money or power or space for everyone and then try to protect their interests by hoarding things like power and money and popularity (at least that is what I understood him to be saying). And the main way they do this by creating and supporting laws and systems which keep non-white people from being able to access money or power or platforms of influence.
This idea that there’s not enough to go around reminds me of the bullying incident by Angela and her crew against El in season 4 of Stranger Things. Angela is top dog at her school. She likes to be popular and powerful. You can see this because her friends follow her and do exactly what she says, and she expects everyone, even the teachers, to listen to her. And something makes her want to use El to keep her position of power. So she sets out to bully El by belittling her in front of teachers and peers.
Angela points out to El how powerless she is. She ensures that El gets a reputation as stupid. All of this protects her from losing her reputation as the most pretty, popular girl at school. While we can’t know what Angela’s motives are, we can see what happens when someone wants to hoard all the power in a given situation. And, while many of us can empathize with El, we have to remember that any of us, when presented with an opportunity to have something we really want, can become Angela.
What would have happened if even one student would have stood up to Angela on El’s behalf? If someone had said, “You’re not top dog around here…”? That is one thing abolitionists did during the times of slavery, and that is one thing you can do now when you see a non-white person being kept away from an opportunity to have or do or even be themselves because someone is trying to hold onto their power.
As I write this, I realize that it can be difficult to imagine what sorts of things our family can do. I think the first step is for us to recognize that most of the opportunities we have have come easily to us because we are white, but they do not come easily to everyone. We also need to open our eyes to what is happening in the world around us and notice when someone is being ignored, pushed away, restricted, or bullied and stand up for them.
Another thing for you to think about is how people are grouped and talked about. When we talk about black people or Native Americans or Latina/o folks, we tend to put them in categories. But when we talk about anyone with white skin, we say they are just white, which makes them seem different or special. Yet the truth is, we people-with-white-skin living in America came from many different parts of the world. Some came as slaves. Yep, that’s right, once upon a time, white people were bought and sold alongside people with black and brown skin. I have been learning this from a historian named Nell Irvin Painter in her book The History of White People.
In light of this information, I think it is important for us to ask, “Hey, why aren’t there special groupings for white people just like there are for everyone else?” and “Why is it that white people are usually all labeled Caucasian?” and “What does Caucasian even mean?” and “Does calling all white people ‘white’ or ‘Caucasian’ make them special or superhuman in your mind and the minds of others?”
I hope that you will also keep in mind that your white skin doesn’t mean you, as a white American, don’t have a culture which is distinct and different from others— and can be deeply offensive when you’re not aware of it. You know how I grew up in Venezuela? When I was a kid hanging out with other kids on the streets of a little town called Puerto Ayacucho, if I saw a white American walking down the street, I hid and tried to pretend I was not like him. Why? Because his American culture would likely mean that he would be loud and bossy and expect everyone to do what he said. I also knew that the Venezuelan vendors who smiled at him and sold him goods were secretly whispering “greedy American” under their breath, and I wanted no part in that identity. I’m grateful for this experience, because it taught me to look critically at myself through the eyes of people who weren’t exactly like me.
So, dear children, as you grow up, I hope you will keep your eyes open and notice things about yourself and others and whether or not everyone is being treated fairly and that you will be the one to stand up to the Angela’s of this world rather than becoming them.
With much love,
Mom
Feel free to drop your thoughts, comments, feelings, and questions below, friend; just keep it civil. Next time, I’ll be delving into the Bible and how my ideas about it have changed.